Poynton PANDAS

Poynton PANDAS
"We truly believe that when you talk to others who have been through similar things, you take the first step on the road to recovery"

Monday 19 September 2016

Melanie's Story




I’m Melanie (on the right of pic), mum to 5 fabulous kids, Imogen, Jessica, Hugh, Henry, and Emilia.
All those very many years ago when I first became a mum, life was simple and good. Yes, there were breast feeding problems, anxieties about how I would look after them, sleep deprivation, etc but on the whole I could cope. Post natal groups and support was plenty, I made good friends, in fact I would say the time with my two little preschool girls was amongst the happiest periods in my life.


Then we moved and within a short time I was pregnant for the third time. I wasn’t near family and friends anymore and when he finally arrived there was no post natal group offered to me, and I began to feel increasingly alone. When I filled in a questionnaire which highlighted to the health visitor that I may have PND I got a phone call asking if I was ok. I lied, not wanting to be a failure and not wanting the stigma of mental illness and that was the end of any support. I suppose they presumed I could cope because I already had two children but the reality was different. My self esteem plummeted as I found it difficult to make friends, I became more isolated and just functioned without enjoying life, even though I had three lovely happy children. 

With nowhere to turn and with no one to talk to things got worse.
 When I became pregnant again I was still suffering from PND and after his birth my self-esteem was so low that I just wanted to disappear. I stopped eating and I did begin to disappear the weight fell off me. At first this made me feel good but I couldn’t look after all my children and not eat. I developed bulimia and this continued for years… Low self esteem led to bingeing, bingeing lead to purging, purging led to self loathing and low self esteem. I was trapped.


Then crisis point came one new year's eve when I wanted to make not existing a reality. I finally realised I needed medical help and set on the long long road to recovery. It was very difficult in truth with good days and black days but I got there, trying many different approaches along the way.


I have since been blessed with Emilia, and as an older, more confident mum it has been much easier.

I have no doubt that with more support in those early days my story would be completely different which is why when approached to help set up Poynton PANDAS I didn’t hesitate. I want other mums to have what I didn’t have, simply someone to talk to, someone who won’t judge and who will understand. It is incredibly important.

If you feel you need support email us at psppoynton@aol.co.uk

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