The PND Rat

The PND rat was a baddie
The PND rat was a beast
He took what he wanted and ate what he took
His life was one long feast
His teeth were sharp and yellow
His manners were rough and rude
And the PND rat went riding - riding - riding
Riding into motherhood
And stealing a mother's good mood

A new mum came walking a long the road
Then stopped with her hands in the air,
For blocking her way was the PND Rat,
Who cried out, "Who goes there?"

"Give me your smiles and joy!
Your happiness you'll have to fake
For I am the Rat of PND
and whatever I want I take!"

"I have no joy" the new mum replied
"I just have this motherhood book"
The PND rat gave a scornful look
but he ordered "Hand it over"

"This book is bound to be useless.
This book is dull as can be,
But I am the Rat of PND
and this book belongs to me!"

A dad came bounding along the road
then stopped with a shake and a shiver,
For reining his horse was the PND Rat,
who thundered "Stand and deliver"!

"Give me your hopes and dreams.
Here are some horrid nightmares.
For I am the Rat of PND
and sometimes I like to share"

"I have no dreams" the dad replied
"I was told to hand them over
to another Rat who looks like you.
I feel my life is over"

The robber snatched the last dream and snarled
"I'll have no ifs or buts.
These dreams are probably rubbish.
These dreams are as crap as can be.
But I am the Rat of PND
and these dreams belong to me."

A gang of mummies came down the road
All pushing a gleaming pram
In their way was the PND Rat who gave one a high impact ram
"You! Why are you with people?
You're as shit as can be.
For I am the Rat of PND
and your confidence belongs to me!"

"Leave her alone" one mummy replied.
"Don't give her anymore grief."
"It's ok" said PND mum
"I give in. You happiness thief".

With never a please or a thank you,
The Rat carried on in this way.
Took sleep from one mum!
Gave fear to the next!
Saying "it's not okay
to talk about this to anyone"
"Just put up and shut up you see?"

A GP came waddling down the road
Then stopped with a "How do you do?"
"I see you have nothing" the Rat complained....
"Just a waiting list for CBT"
"By the time that wait is over..
your patient will belong to me"

"Hang on" quacked the doc, "for I have a prescription"...."goodies you might prefer"
"This piece of paper will lead you to light."
"At least I hope it's a cure."
"For I have no time to speak to you.
Ten minutes will have to do.
So please take this paper and cash it in.
I think you'll like them I do".

Off went the vermin
Prescription in hand
to a late night pharmacy
"I'll have as many as you've got
These goodies belong to me!"

The Rat found himself by a lonely cave
And the doctor gave him a shove
"In you go. You PND"
"I hope that you find love"

"What a strange thing to say" said PND
"I'll find no love in there"
"For it's dark and black"
" And nobody knows what's going on for me"

But after a week or maybe two
A light began to flicker
Far away it was at first
And then came into view

Holding the light was a dear friend
With a gentle smile on her face
"I know how you feel" said little mouse
"I've also fallen from grace".

"I had a litter of mouselings."
"All teeny and wonderfully cute".
"But then came a haze. A terrible phase"
"And now I think I'm a brute"

"I'm the worse mummy ever."
"I'm as shit as can be."
"I'm just not worth loving."
"Cos PND happened to me".

PND felt dreadful
"I'm sorry I was such a rat"
"I was just wanted some of that love and then I grew horribly fat"
"Mummy love is so strong. I wanted some you see.
"But I took too much . I ruined them"
"And now I know. I see"

"I'll give it back. That love I took"
"I'll give it back to those
who want to love their little ones and kiss their tiny toes.
"But first they need to love themselves.
"I'll give them back their courage."
"To fight this illness once and for all."
"I want to see them flourish".

One by one the mums and dads
saw it wasn't their fault
For PND rat was a horrible "t**t"
and they put it in a vault

Some days were a battle
PND wanted out you see
But the mums and dads fought on and on
And one day they were free

Free from guilt and loathing
Free from low self-worth
For the thing that was lost
Was love for themselves
But it grew back slowly.



Based on the story The Highway Rat by Julia Donaldson. Illustrated by Axel Scheffler.


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If you need help with pre or postnatal illness, come along to our weekly drop in group which starts again on Mon 7th Sept 10.45-12.15 at St George's Church, Poynton.

Email: psppoynton@aol.co.uk
www.facebook.com/poyntonPANDAS

Meet our Volunteer Peer Supporter - Charlotte

My name is Charlotte Humphreys, I am 24 and mummy to 2 children.

I have been studying for the past 12 months, and will do for the next 12 in order to make it onto the Midwifery programme where it will lead me to a career I am passionate about and will ultimately love.

In between studies I love to spend quality time with my children, together and separately. On the odd occasion I see have time without my children, I love and appreciate "me time" where I catch up with close friends, have dinner out, go to the cinema or even just paint my nails!

I discovered PANDAS whilst looking into areas I could study to help with my future education, training and personal support I provide to close friends.

Perinatal Mental Health has been an issue close to my heart after suffering Prenatal Depression with my first child and Postnatal Depression with my second. Originally with Prenatal Depression I didn't even realise what was wrong. It never occurred that my tearfulness, low energy, constant sleeping, feeling of "alienation", wanting to hide my baby bump and not wanting others to talk about my baby was actually my state of mind. I didn't have the confidence to even speak to my Midwife at my antenatal appointment!

Postnatal Depression didn't occur until my second child was 15 months old, again never realising that it could occur so long after birth! I didn't know of anyone to talk to so I immediately went to the doctors and expressed my concerns of feeling as though I wanted to run away from my family, never feeling adequate or I was doing things right. I felt all the struggles that come with being a mum was personal, a target just for me, not something that is shared by every parent at some stage!

I am here to provide support, understanding and a friendly hug; things I didn't feel I had when I was unwell. If I'd found a peer support group like PANDAS, I might have felt I had more options than going on medication straight away.

I want to be able to give the opportunity for anyone experiencing similar situations to myself or the other PANDAS Peer Supporters, to feel at ease, and free from judgement. I want them to seek advice and feel relief from the strain of this illness which I didn't have outside of my family.

Charlotte xx

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If you could do with someone to talk with about pre or postnatal mental health, come along to our weekly drop in group which starts again on Monday 7th September at St George's Church, Poynton 10.45-12.15. Children are very welcome. It's a free, no pressure, supportive environment.

email: psppoynton@aol.co.uk

www.facebook.com/poyntonPANDAS